Parenting isn't easy. It's freakin' hard. I have a two-year-old and a four-month-old, and for little people, they have big feelings. Liam, my two-year-old, can, in five minutes, feel five different emotions. Does anyone else connect with that? They are lonely, then sad, then upset, then curious, then happy; all the while, I am trying to figure out how to ride the wave. Children's feelings can be hard to cope with sometimes (all the time), but I'm learning to let myself be surprised by them.
During our bedtime routine the other night, Liam and I were praying. We pray for Liam's daycare friends and our family and then we mix in some random shoutouts to Cocomelon, his diaper, and crackers. This night, I asked Liam to pray for Diana, a wonderful woman in the church experiencing end-of-life care. We talked about how Diana is sick and how it is good to pray for people who are sick. I told Liam that we would pray that Jesus would help her feel as good as she could possibly feel. He obviously couldn't understand the complexity of it, but it was clear that he connected with the fact that Diana was not feeling well.
The following night during prayer time we prayed for our family and our friends (and blueberries of course) and then Liam shocked me. He asked to pray for Diana. At first, I didn't understand what he was asking for as Diana sounded less like Diana and more like 'Dighaehhnea', but then I caught on. "Oh! You want to pray for Diana???" "Yes" Liam responded as if he was thinking, "Get with it, Dad". Liam then explained to me that Diana was sick.
Every night since, Liam has asked to pray for Diana. In some strange and beautiful way, he's formulating a two-year-olds version of empathy. All of this reminds me that I need to let Liam feel. He needs to feel the good things and the hard things. He needs the space to make sense of his own feelings and the feelings of others. I pray that as you make space to let your kids feel, that you will be remarkably surprised by them.
Michael Kotsopoulos is the Lead Pastor at The Meeting House Alliston. He is married to Teresa, and dad to Liam and Maya.